Be Still My Beating Heart
by another.creative.lover
Summary: /SasuSaku/ Over the years that Sasuke has been gone, Sakura has developed a weak heart. Her life's flashing before her eyes, but she wants to spend one more winter with the man she loves before she leaves. Character death. Oneshot.


**The Frozen Blossom**

**By annee loves sasusaku**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. If I did, Sasuke wouldn't be as retarded as he's acting right now and he's probably be settled in with Sakura, having wonderful pink-haired Uchiha babies who aren't as emotionally constipated as their father.

**Rated M for sexual content. Do not read if you don't like. **

**-xxx-**

"_To love at all is to be vulnerable. _

_Love anything, and your __**heart**__ will certainly be __**wrung**_

_and possibly __**broken**__. _

_If you want to make sure of keeping it __**intact**__,_

_You must give your __**heart**__ to __**no one**__, not even to an animal._

_**Wrap**__ it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries,_

_**Avoid**__ all entanglements; __**lock**__ it up safe_

_in the casket or coffin of your __**selfishness**__. _

_But in that casket—__**safe**__, __**dark**__, __**motionless**__, __**airless**__—_

_It will __**change**__. It will not be broken;_

_It will become __**unbreakable**__, __**impenetrable**__, __**irredeemable**__."_

_**C.S. Lewis**_

**-xxx-**

Two figures sat underneath a cherry blossom tree, watching as the fragile pink petals broke away in the wind and fell at the first signs of snowflakes. The raven-haired man held out his hand and let a pink blossom rest on his calloused palm as he turned his gaze to his just-as-fragile Cherry Blossom. She smiled back at him with tired green eyes.

Her heart beat in her chest like a weak mantra, the muscles barely keeping up with her breathing.

She gave a sad smile. So weak… felt so weak.

**^v^v^**

_The sun was shining down on a verdant hill, lush with green grass and beautiful flowers that painted the field pale shades of rainbow. A beautiful, little pink-haired girl with eyes that seemed to match the grass dashed through the field, laughing with absolute joy. "Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun! Look what I got!" she shouted as she made her way through the field toward a raven-haired little boy. His apathy radiated off of him immensely, but when he saw the rosette, the apathetic aura seemed to fade a bit, as if he were pushing it aside so that he could enjoy time with her. _

_ "What is it, Sakura?" he deadpanned, trying to act as if he weren't interested in the little girl's antics, watching her from the corner of his eyes._

_ She waved a beautiful white flower in the air. "Mama says that I look just as pretty as this flower. She says it's called a daisy."_

_ "Hn," he simply responded, rolling on his side in the grass as he fingered a blade of green. "You don't look like a daisy at all." _

_ She stared at him. Gave him a pretty sort of laugh. Then, she picked herself up and headed toward another side of the field to pick some more flowers. If she had only stayed a little longer, she would have heard him say:_

_ "You're a Cherry Blossom."_

**^v^v^**

"Sasuke-kun…" Her voice came out as a mere whisper, dripping from her lips.

The raven-haired man leaned toward her. "You're so beautiful, Sakura," he murmured to her before he grazed her forehead with his lips. "My Cherry Blossom."

**^v^v^**

_She had waited so long for him—six years, seven months, and two days. _

_ The search for him was still going. And she waited. Waited. Waited. _

_ Every night by the window, she'd look out and greet the moon with a sad smile, holding a picture of the old days to her heart as she looked out into the quiet village and pictured a life with him—with Sasuke. "Oh, Sasuke-kun…" That endearing name—she could never let go of that suffix of his. It was like it was glued onto his name upon her lips. It was never Sasuke. Never Uchiha-san. Just… _Sasuke-kun_. Anything else would have felt wrong. _

_ Every day of waiting made her feel weaker—she couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't even talk for months after he disappeared, after he left her on that bench to catch the cold in his heart. _

_ And eventually, she did catch something. _

_ While she was on a small mission with Naruto, Kakashi, and Sai, Sai got her so mad—always calling her "Ugly" or mocking her big, 'deformed' forehead. She couldn't take it anymore. So she ran after him, uprooting trees and tossing them at him as if they were mere rocks. _

_ "You think it's _easy_ being a girl, being someone with a ginormous forehead, you big dickwad?" she yelled as she tossed another tree at the artist. "You don't understand anything, Sai! You're just a—" A jolt of pain exploded in her chest, so intense that she saw black spots in her vision. That last thing she heard was Naruto, calling her name. _

—

_ "We took scans of your entire body, Sakura," Tsunade told her gently as she looked down at her apprentice with sad eyes. "Your heart is beating quite irregularly and seems to have spasms quite often."_

_ The rosette stared up at her teacher, the only mother figure that she ever had. "What does that mean for me?"_

_ The lady Hokage gently took Sakura's hand in her own, stroking it comfortingly. "It means that you have a weak heart. If you ever get too angry, too excited, too happy, too sad—your life will end in that moment." Tears rolled down her face as she took in the rosette's pained face. "You have to be stoic in order to live."_

**^v^v^**

Sakura wished that, for just once, she could be able to laugh and cry like she used to, to be able to experience bliss and extreme anger instead of learning how to dissipate the feelings on sheer will. If she was still her twelve-year-old self, still listening to the advice of a prepubescent, stoic boy, she would have believed that she was strong, able to push emotions away with such beautiful practice that it would have gained anyone's admiration and respect.

But she wasn't twelve-years-old; she was twenty-four. And she truly believed that strength resided in the ability to show love.

She stared up at the blooming cherry blossom tree and cracked a smile, managing to feel a little happy before she kept her barriers up. '_I can't let go yet…_' she thought.

The raven-haired man stared down at her, shielding her from the cold, on-coming winds. He pushed the strands of pink hair away from her face and kissed her brow.

That simple kiss made Sakura want to smile.

**^v^v^**

_It was years after Sasuke came back, finally having achieved his revenge on his brother and having dealt with the elders for the death of his family. _

_ Sakura knew why he'd come back. It was his second goal that he needed to fulfill before he could move on and start living: to restore his clan. And that night, she knew that he knew as well._

_ She felt his chakra when she had come into her small apartment, giving a small smile when she heard him hold in a growl as she took off her day clothes, carelessly tossing them in the hamper. Then she lay down on the bed, purposely placing her head in the rays of moonlight, letting it reflect off her pale skin for him to see. _

_ He was on her in a flash, his Sharingan automatically activating as he took in her delicious body. "You tease," he growled, "You knew that I was there, didn't you?" Over the years, she had matured so much, her face now showing with prominent cheekbones, beautiful shining eyes and plump lips; her breasts were round and soft-looking. Sasuke let his eyes travel down to the pink locks between her long, long legs. _

_ She simply stared at him, managing to give him a small smile, her heart beating faster when she felt the masculine heat radiating off of him. She didn't give him an answer, but instead gave him a seductive stare with emerald orbs. Then, she spoke, her voice soft and barely audible. "I knew that you'd come to me, Sasuke-kun," she murmured as her hand trailed down his front to the large tent in his pants, "but I never expected that you'd be so eager to see me." She gave him a squeeze and smiled through the pain in her chest when she heard him groan. _

_ "Sakura…" he groaned as he felt her free his shirt and pants from his body. He stood in the moonlight, letting her see his hard and ready staff. _

_ Despite her extreme protests to her body, she felt wetness already forming between her legs as she stared at him, fighting the pain in her chest as she felt the intense pleasure of just looking at him, totally aroused. "Sasuke-kun…" she breathed for the very first time that night._

_ The sound of his name on her lips made him want to pounce her and fuck her senseless like he did with a countless number of women; but this time, with _her_, he wanted to make it special, make it loving and make it absolutely mind-blowing. Picking her up as gently as possible, he placed her on his lap and started at her lips, gently pressing his lips to hers at first, and then comfortingly coaxing them open, his tongue running across her bottom lip, asking for access to her delicious cavern. _

_ The twinge in her chest made her pull away, gasping for air and clutching at her chest. All this bliss, this _happiness_ that she finally felt with this man was making her ache painfully. Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun…" _

_ "Hn," he murmured against her neck as his lips left love bites trailing down the hollow of her throat. "You shouldn't be." He pulled her flush against him, hiding his head in her hair. "I should." His hands trailed down to the opening between her legs. He stroked the small, sensitive bundle of nerves and listened to her stifled moans. It puzzled him to feel how her muffled sounds seemed to arouse him even more. "I'll be gentle with you," he murmured. "I promise." He stuck a finger gingerly inside of her, slowly and erotically pumping it in and out before he added another. When a moan of pleasure tore from her throat, he stroked her walls sensually, letting her feel the immense pleasure. He watched as she threw her head back in pure ecstasy. He felt his hard member twitch. _

_ The raven-haired man slowly pushed her down to the mattress, his lips trailing down her body, stopping once or twice to flick his tongue out and taste her skin every now and then, before they reached the spot where his talented fingers were still at work. His eyes flicked to her face, watching her as her breaths came in hard pants. _

_ "Aah… Sasuke-kun… please…" _

_ God, she sounded so close. Pulling his fingers out of her, he heard her whimper in protest before she let out an unrestrained moan when his tongue flicked out and slowly licked her clit. Then, not waiting another moment, he plunged his tongue into her hot core, watching in pure arousal as she arched into his mouth. _

_ "Nngh! Sasuke—kun!" The pain in her chest hurt so much… but the pleasure that she got from him seemed to drown it out. Then, for the first time in her life, she came, crying his name as her release spilled out of her and into his mouth. Already a little spent from such intense pleasure, she stared at him as he made his way to her lips and kissed her, soft and sweet. She sighed. "Make love to me, Sasuke-kun."_

_He gave her the famous smirk that she loved and replied to her with another kiss before he picked her up and lowered her onto his member, trying to drown out her gasps of pain as he rocked back and forth slowly inside her and made love to her lips and her body. _

_ Strangely, the aching in her chest seemed to dull for a while, the pain between her legs slowly bursting with pleasure as he set her down on the bed, pulling out slowly before he thrust in, hard. _

_ Sasuke groaned in pleasure. It felt so good to be inside her, to feel her tight, slick walls encase his cock. Sheathing himself inside of her once more, he kissed her, putting all of his feelings for the rosette into that one kiss before he heard her whimper and felt her walls tighten around his appendage, signaling her release. With two more good thrusts into her, he spilled his seed inside of her before he collapsed to her side and pulled her to him, breathing in her beautiful scent of vanilla and cherry blossoms. He kissed her forehead, watching as her eyes fluttered close. "Thank you, Sakura," he said as he watched her fall asleep, never knowing that inside, she was slowly dying._

**^v^v^**

Sasuke sat there beside the rosette underneath the cherry blossom tree, watching for the first signs of winter. The air was cold, just the way he liked it, and Sakura was by his side; what more could he want at the moment? He stared at her beauty, the way her hair tossed around in the cold breeze like petals; the way her eyes seemed to shine verdant green with wisdom beyond her years; and how the small smile on her lips grew a little bit bigger when she looked at him, watching him with such loving eyes that Sasuke knew she was the only woman for him.

Her eyes found his and that smile he always dreamed about slowly grew on her lips as she tilted her head up to him, awaiting his firm lips.

He gave her a small smile back, the one he only gave her, and only her before he descended upon her plump, rosy lips, caressing them with such care, coaxing them open as she guided his hand to her chest, letting him feel the irregular beat of her heart. It took all of his strength not to let the tears that he felt behind his eyelids run down his cheeks.

From the inside of the house, the sound of a little child crying arose.

She broke away from his lips, giving him a soft peck to the forehead before she apologized and left before she came back with a small bundle in her arms. Sakura smiled at the baby in her arms as she resumed her seat next to the man she loved. "He's so wonderful, Sasuke-kun," she whispered, watching the baby coo and giggle as he stared at his father, holding a tiny hand out as if asking for his father's finger.

Sasuke complied, giving the baby a small smile as he watched his first son play with his pinky finger. "He is," he agreed, stroking the baby's cheek affectionately as he watched Sakura hold his child in her arms.

**^v^v^**

_"Sakura!" Sasuke shouted, running over to his wife as she collapsed to the floor and struggled to stand back up. "What's wrong?" he asked her, guiding her back up with a comforting arm around her waist despite her protests. _

_ But then, he finally found out, his hand feeling all the irregular pulses of her heart in that one movement to pull her up. He stared at her, wishing that it wasn't true. "Sakura?"_

_ She managed to smile back at him, despite the pain in her chest. "Sasuke-kun… do you remember when you left?" _

_ Without a word, he nodded, unable to open his mouth and speak. _

_ She pulled in a shaky breath. "About seven years after you left, I collapsed on a mission with Kakashi, Naruto and Sai…" The silence that ensued nearly deafened the two of them. "…and when I came back, Tsunade-sama diagnosed it as a weak heart."_

_ "Weak… heart?" Sasuke hoarsely repeated. _

_ Sakura nodded, biting her lip. "Very weak, actually."_

_ "How so?"_

_ For a moment, she didn't answer. No, she _couldn't_ answer. She had to breathe for a moment, to dissipate the tears, the sadness—else she wouldn't live to be able to tell him. "So weak that if I ever become too happy, too sad, too excited, or even too angry…" The sad smile that Sasuke always thought was beautiful graced her lips. "…I'll die."_

_ Sasuke couldn't speak. Couldn't scream his frustrations to the world. After finding the most wonderful woman who would ever love him, ever understand him fully, she had to end up with a weak heart—and it was all his fault. Without a word, he knelt down and gently held her to him, pressing his ear to her heart to listen to the soft, crooked song that only her heart could play._

**^v^v^**

The clouds hung over them like ominous weights in the air, staring down at the couple. The wind stirred a little—and then, the snow came down upon them, softly, gently.

Sasuke held his hand out and caught a snowflake on his calloused palm, watching the beautiful whiteness slowly cover the ground and strip Mother Nature of her verdant color, painting it anew. The wind blew through the air, pulling the beautiful, pale pink cherry blossoms off their branches and sending them through the air. Around them, the snow and fragile petals fell in a beautiful pattern, surrounding them in a surreal white, pink haven.

Sakura looked up at her husband and smiled, a real smile that burst with happiness. "I'm tired, Sasuke-kun," she murmured, snuggling into his chest for warm and listening to the baby coo. "Take care of me while I sleep, okay?"

The raven-haired man's eyes softened as he nodded, letting her head rest upon his shoulder as he held their child. He stared at the falling cherry blossoms, the snowflakes that began to cover her hair and brushed them away with the loose strands in her face. "I love you," he murmured, kissing her on the forehead as he looked at the content smile on her face.

For a moment, he thought that she heard him and he smiled back at her sleeping figure; but then, as he watched the last sakura petal be blown away by the wind, he realized as he stared down at his child, that the woman he loved, his beautiful Sakura, covered in snowflakes and sakura blossoms, was gone with the wind.

**-xxx-**

**Author's note:** Man… I was in a really dark place when I wrote this. 0_0 My first tragedy/romance fic everyone. :) Please tell me what you thought of this. Read, **review**, and, if necessary, do write constructive criticism. Flames shall be extinguished.

**Review, review, review.**


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